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HOMERUN
WRITTEN AND PERFORMED BY
JO HARVEY ALLEN

ACT I

STAGE: A BASEBALL DIAMOND... LINES DRAWN WITH FLOUR OR SALT CONNECTING BASES MARKED BY OLD PIECES OF CARDBOARD, DIRT AT PITCHER'S MOUND, A YELLOW METAL LAWN CHAIR AT HOME PLATE, AND A 40's CONSOLE RADIO IN LEFT FIELD.

RADIO: (BASEBALL GAME OPENING SOUNDS)

J.H.: (front stage)
I LOVE THE SOUND OF A BASEBALL GAME. DOESN’T THAT SOUND GIVE YOU A GOOD FEELING? IT'S KIND OF A HOMEY EASY FEELING, IT REMINDS ME OF A SUMMER NIGHT WHEN I WAS JUST A LITTLE GIRL, WALKING HOME FROM A BASEBALL GAME HOLDING HANDS WITH MY GRANDPA, DADDY JESSE. YOU KNOW HOW SOME MEMORIES ARE SO VIVID YOU CAN SMELL 'EM, FEEL HOW THE LIGHT FELT? I CAN FEEL THAT SUMMER NIGHT, FEEL HIS HAND, AND WE WALKED SO FAR. WE REALLY WERE A LONG WAYS FROM HOME.

WE'D BEEN TO A LUBBOCK HUBBERS GAME. SEE, LUBBOCK IS A SIN BIG ON SATURDAY NIGHT, REPENT ON SUNDAY MORNING KIND OF TOWN. EVERY SATURDAY NIGHT AFTER THE BOOTLEGGER CAME, MY FOLKS WOULD DRESS UP FIT TO KILL AND GO OUT DANCING. I'D GET A BIG BRIBE FOR STAYING HOME WITH DADDY JESSE. COURSE I REALLY LOVED IT. HE ALWAYS WORE A ROSE IN HIS LAPEL, TOLD GREAT JOKES, AND RAN THE ELEVATOR AT THE ONLY TALL BUILDING IN LUBBOCK, THE GREAT PLAINS LIFE ... TWENTY-ONE STORIES.

WE'D TURN ON THAT RADIO AND GET MY FAVORITE SHOW, "THE SATURDAY NIGHT JAMBOREE," BROADCAST LIVE FROM THE SLED ALLEN ARENA RIGHT THERE IN LUBBOCK TEXAS. NOW WHO WOULD HAVE EVER GUESSED IT, BUT SLED ALLEN TURNED OUT TO BE MY HUSBAND, TERRY’S, DADDY AND MINE AND TERRY'S GRANDSON, SLED HARVEY'S, GREAT GREAT GRANDDADDY. OF COURSE THAT WAS BEFORE,.... WELL, TERRY AND I DIDN'T FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT EACH OTHER, COURSE, UNTIL THAT FIRST TIME WE MET AND DIRTY BOPPED ALL NIGHT ‘TIL NINE THAT TIME. ANYWAY, DADDY JESSE....

TAPE: "SO LONESOME I COULD CRY ..." (LLOYD MAINES ON STEEL)

J.H. (sits in chair)
HE'D SIT IN HIS EASY CHAIR AND WE'D SING WITH HANK WILLIAMS, AND ROY ACUFF, AND THE SONS OF THE PIONEERS, WHILE I WOULD PAINT HIS TOENAILS RED AND DRESS HIM UP IN DRAG.

THAT WAS IN THE BIG HOUSE WITH THE BIG FRONT PORCH. MY MOTHER SAYS THIS COUNTRY WENT STRAIGHT TO HELL THE DAY THEY STOPPED BUILDING HOUSES WITH FRONT PORCHES, WHEN PEOPLE STOPPED GIVING A DAMN ABOUT THEIR NEIGHBORS’ BUSINESS. I CAN SMELL THE FOUR O'CLOCKS THAT GREW BY THAT PORCH..THE PIES LINED UP ON THE RAILING 'COOLIN', BY TEN IN THE MORNING. THAT'S WHEN MAMMA LOUDER'S NEIGHBOR WOMEN CAME OVER TO QUILT OUT ON THIS SCREENED-IN BACK PORCH. THEY'D SIT AROUND A BIG OLE’ QUILTING FRAME AND GOSSIP AND PSYCHO-ANALYZE EACH OTHER. THEN SHE'D SERVE A HOT LUNCH FOR THE BORDERS WHO WALKED FROM DOWNTOWN TO EAT. SOMETIMES THERE WOULD BE TEN OR FIFTEEN OF 'EM .... CHICKEN FRIED STEAK, MASHED POTATOES, FRESH BLACK-EYED PEAS, FRIED OKRA, BISCUITS FROM SCRATCH WITH GRAVY ON ALL OF IT. THEN THE HOBOS WOULD LINE UP AT THE BACK DOOR AND SHE'D SERVE'EM ALL THE LEFTOVERS, THEN SEND'EM DOWN IN THE BASEMENT TO TAKE NAPS ON THESE COTS SHE'D SET UP. SHE WAS THE SWEETEST WOMAN YOU EVER SAW, BUT BOY COULD SHE LOOK MEAN. SHE'D MAKE 'EM LEAVE BY FOUR O'CLOCK, NO MATTER WHAT. IN THE HEAT OF THE AFTERNOON, I'D LOUNGE OUT IN MY SWIMMING POOL. IT WAS REALLY JUST A HOLE I DUG WITH THE WATER HOSE RUNNIN'IN IT. I'D BOG DOWN INTO THAT COOL MUD AND LAY BACK AND WAIT FOR THE SKYWRITING PLANE TO FLY BY. PRETTY SOON HERE IT WOULD COME,...."COCA COLA" IN CURSIVE ACROSS THAT HOT CLOUDLESS WEST TEXAS SKY. THEN I'D GO IN AND EAT A BOWL OF FRESH CANNED PEACHES AND CREAM, A HERSHEY BAR AND A FIVE-CENT COKE, AND A FOUR WAY COLD TABLET AS A PREVENTIVE. THEN I WOULD SPEND THE REST OF THE AFTERNOON RANSACKING CARPENTER'S ROOM BEFORE HE GOT HOME FROM WORK. I JUST HATED HIM!

RADIO: "WHAT EVIL LURKS IN THE HEARTS AND MIND'S OF MEN?" (from The Shadow)

J.H. I'D PRESS MY EAR RIGHT UP TO THE RADIO AND PRETEND I COULDN'T HEAR MY SHOWS. HE TOLD MY FAMILY THAT I WAS A "SADDEST." I DIDN'T CARE. I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT THAT WAS. I DID KNOW HE WAS BAD. I FOUND GOLF T'S IN HIS TOP DRAWER. I KNEW THOSE WERE NASTY. I JUST DIDN'T KNOW WHY.

RADIO: "THE SHADOW KNOWS .... HA, HA, HA, HA, HA"

J.H.: YOU KNOW WHEN SOMETHING IS NASTY..... LIKE THAT OLD RUBBER I FOUND IN THE GUTTER. I PUT IT ON THE END OF A LONG STICK AND TOOK IT DOOR TO DOOR ASKING EVERYBODY WHAT IT WAS. NOBODY SEEMED TO KNOW, BUT THEY WERENT ABOUT TO TOUCH IT EITHER. THEN I FOUND SOME IN MY DADDY'S DRAWER, SO I THOUGHT MAYBE I'D BEEN MISTAKEN, SO I STARTED HOARDING 'EM. I PUT A BUNCH OF'EM AROUND THE BELT OF MY EASTER DRESS, USED 'EM FOR BALLOONS, AND BLEW 'EM UP AT SUNDAY SCHOOL AND CHURCH.

BUT DEEP DOWN, YOU KNOW WHAT'S NASTY, JUST LIKE YOU KNOW WHAT'S SCARY .... SHE'D ALWAYS STEP OUT, BECKONING ME TO COME WITH HER. SHE WAS SHROUDED IN BLACK. ALL I COULD SEE WERE HER EYES. I KNEW SHE WAS SCARY. I JUST DIDN'T KNOW WHY.

THE FIRST BIG QUESTION I CAN REMEMBER HAVING WAS, SITTING ON THOSE BASEMENT STEPS, LOOKING DOWN INTO THAT DARK WONDERING, "WHAT WAS BEFORE GOD?"

TAPE: "GOD?" (a little girl's voice, low, followed by cicadas and summer sounds)

J.H.: (continues)
I REMEMBER SLEEPING DOWN IN THE BASEMENT ON A REAL HOT SUMMER NIGHT WHEN I WAS FIVE YEARS OLD, PRAYING REAL HARD FOR SNOW - I WOKE TO A WHITE MORNING WITH ALMOST ENOUGH FAITH FOR A LIFETIME.

J.H.: (moves to pitcher's mound)

TAPE: BLOODLINES BY TERRY ALLEN.... "THERE IS A RIVER, RUN THROUGH THE MOUNTAINS, UNDER MOONLIGHT, HEAR THE SOUND, OF THE BLOODLINES GONE LONG BEFORE ME, EVER AFTER MOVING ON, EVER AFTER MOVING ON."

J.H.: (on pitcher's mound)
MARIA BELIEVES IN MIRACLES, TOO. I MET MARIA IN LA JOLLA THIS SUMMER. SHE WAS WORKING AS A MAID. SHE WAS COOKING IN A CATERING TRUCK WHEN IT HIT A SPEED BUMP AND MARIA FLEW UP IN THE AIR AND WOUND UP PARALYZED FOR OVER TWO YEARS. NOW, MARIA TOLD ME THAT SHE NEVER PRAYED TO GOD. SHE FIGURED HE HAS TOO MANY KIDS, SO INSTEAD, SHE MADE A DEAL WITH HER DAD. SEE, HE DIED WHEN SHE WAS FIVE YEARS OLD. EVERYDAY SHE PROMISED HER DAD, THAT IF SHE COULD WALK AGAIN, SHE WOULD GO TO MEXICO AND MAKE A MARK WHERE HE WAS BURIED SO HE WOULDN’T GET LOST. WELL, SHE WAS TEARING THROUGH THAT HOUSE WHEN I MET HER. SHE DIDNT HAVE A PROBLEM WALKING.

MARIA TOLD ME THAT HER DAD WAS AN ANGEL AND THAT SHE DOESN’T HESITATE TO CALL ON HIM.

J.H.: (front stage)
MARIA TRUSTS HER INSTINCTS. MARIA ISN’T THE TYPE OF PERSON WHO WOULD HESITATE ON HERSELF .... HUMM... I WAS IN THIS BANK IN NEW YORK.... CHROME AND STEEL AND GLASS.. RIGHT AT FOUR O'CLOCK THERE WAS THIS LOUD SLAMMING NOISE, YOU KNOW THOSE KIND OF HUGE DOORS THAT HAVE THOSE GIANT SLIDING RUNNING, BARS, BOLTING. WELL, THE DOOR HAD ALL THESE MASSIVE LOCKS SLAMMING SHUT LIKE THAT. THE CEILING WAS GROWING TALLER AND TALLER AND ELABORATE GOLD MOLDING WAS RUNNING AROUND THE TOP AND EVERYTHING WAS TURNING INTO MARBLE AND GOLD AND IT FELT LIKE A VAST EGYPTIAN TOMB. THIS MOUSY TYPE TELLER'S SHORT BROWN HAIR STARTED TO GROW LONG AND THICK AND BLACK AS PITCH. HER LIPS FILLED IN BLOOD RED. SHE TURNED INTO AN EXOTIC CREATURE. I WAS STUNNED. FINALLY, I ASKED, "WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?" SHE WALKED BEHIND ME. THERE WAS A GIGANTIC GOLDEN STATUE OF AN EGYPTIAN QUEEN. THIS EXOTIC EX-TELLER CLIMBED UP ONTO THIS GREAT STATUE.

J.H.: (sits in chair)
THE QUEEN'S HANDS WERE CLOSED LIKE THIS. THIS BLACK HAIRED CREATURE RUBBED ON ONE OF THE HUGH FIST. THE GIANT FIST SLOWLY TURNED AND OPENED UP LIKE THIS.... THE FINGERS CREAKED OPEN AND I COULD SEE HER TOUCH SOMETHING IN THE GOLDEN PALM. THEN IT CLOSED SHUT, AND SHE CLIMBED BACK DOWN SO, I DID THE EXACT SAME THING. I CRAWLED UP THE ONTO THIS FANTASTIC STATUE AND RUBBED THE GREAT HAND JUST LIKE SHE DID, AND SURE ENOUGH, IT STARTED TO CREEK AND TURN AND OPEN UP FOR ME, TOO. THEN I COULD SEE WHAT IT WAS. THERE WAS A TINY, JUST ABOUT THIS BIG, BLUE STONE. I REACHED FOR IT... JUST LIKE THIS.... WHEN I WAS REACHING FOR IT, I WENT LIKE THIS, AND THEN I WENT FOR IT. THE FIST SLAMMED SHUT FAST AS LIGHTNING..A SMALL THREAD STARTED SLIDING OUT, A TINY LITTLE THREAD LIKE THIS .... LIKE ONE ON THE HEM OF MY SKIRT OR THREAD ON YOUR BUTTON, JUST THE TINIEST, TINE NINNEY THREAD AND ATTACHED TO THIS FRAIL LITTLE STRING WHICH FELL ALL THE WAY DOWN TO THE FLOOR WAS THE SMALL BLUE STONE.. I CRAWLED DOWN HER SIDE AND TRIED TO BREAK IT LOOSE. FROM THE STRING... WHAT ANYBODY COULD EASILY DO, ONLY I TUGGED AND TUGGED BUT I COULDN’T PULL THE STONE LOOSE. THEN IT DAWNED ON ME, THAT IN THAT MOMENT’S HESITATION WHEN I WENT JUST LIKE THIS, I HAD LOST ALL THE SECRETS IN THE UNIVERSE.

TAPE: EGYPTIAN MUSIC

I WAS IN EGYPT A FEW YEARS AGO. NEARLY EVERY WOMAN I SAW HAD A BLUE STONE HANGING AROUND HER NECK. WHEN I ASKED THE WOMAN AT THE HOTEL WHY, SHE SAID THAT IN EGYPT THE BLUE STONE REPRESENTED THE MYSTERY, HIDDEN KNOWLEDGE, THE BEST UNATTAINABLE WISHES .... WHAT WE DON’T KNOW ... THE SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE.

J.H.: (front stage)
IF YOU'VE GOT INTUITION... IF IT FEELS RIGHT... JUMP ON IT FAST! GET THE COURAGE TO ACT. PROBLEM IS, SOMETIMES YOU CAN’T TELL.

WELL, WE LIVED IN FRESNO FOR 17 YEARS. SOME PEOPLE QUESTION THAT. WELL, I DONT KNOW...l MEAN, SOMETIMES YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT'S RIGHT. I MEAN, SOMETIMES, YOU CAN GET KINDA CONFUSED.

J.H.: (continues front stage with POEM: 'PRAYING MANTIS’)
RIGHT BESIDE OUR BED ... ON OUR BEDROOM WINDOW IN FRESNO, WE HAD A WHOLE FAMILY OF PRAYING MANTIS OR MANTI OR WHATEVER YOU SAY, ANYWAY, I USED TO SIT ON THE EDGE OF OUR BED AND WATCH THEM FOR AN HOUR AT A TIME.

J.H.: (sits on chair)

CLINGING TO THE SCREEN
HER GRACEFUL FEELERS
SURVEYED HIS DRIED REMAINS
SHE AND HER BABY
DAY AFTER DAY MOURNING THE BODY
DRAGGING IT FRACTIONS OF AN INCH
FOR A MONTH I WATCHED
AND FELT SORRY
SORRY FOR THE THOUGHT OF EVER BEING LEFT
SORRY FOR BEING VULNERABLE
SICK AT THE THOUGHT OF DEATH
LITTLE DID I KNOW
SHE WAS EATING HER LOVER
HAD BITTEN OFF HIS HEAD
TO FEEL HIS STRONGEST THRUST
SURGE WITHIN HER
HOW OFTEN I DECEIVE MYSELF

TAPE: CLAPS OF THUNDER

BULL SHIT!
DEEP DOWN YOU KNOW

J.H. (front stage POEM: "I WOKE ON COOL SHEETS")
I WOKE ON COOL SHEETS
AT EASE WITH THE MOURNING
THE SMELL OF SUMMER RAIN
KIDS STICKY WITH HONEY
WHEN YOU WALKED IN
AND PARTED THE KITCHEN
WITH YOUR SILENCE
TIME STRUCK DUMB
UNTIL I SAW WHAT YOU FOUND IN THE CLOSET
A PAINTING HIDDEN FOR SEVEN YEARS
BUT HANGING ON OUR BEDROOM WALL
SEVEN YEARS BEFORE
ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE
MAYBE IT COULD HAVE BEEN PREVENTED
IF I'D BELIEVED THEN IN ART
WHEN THE SPIRIT OF MY SOOTHSAYERS
BRUSHED YOUR CANVAS
AND PELLED IT OUT
AS CLEAR AS THE EARLY DAYS
BUT I DOUBT IT
FOR I'VE SEEN YOUR LINES BECOME OUR HIGHWAYS
YOUR FORMS HOUSE OUR HISTORY
AND MORE THAN ONCE
CONTENT COME TRUE
I STARE AT THE NEW DRAWING YOU GAVE ME
SUSPECT OF THE SKELETON WEARING MY BRACELETS
A RAZOR IN HER HAIR
WALKING OFF IN MY HIGH HEELS
LEAVING A DEAD RABBIT ON THE SIDEWALK
YOU CALL IT TRAGIC MAGIC
AND POOR RABBIT NOW THAT I'M A BELIEVER.
I WILL CERTAINLY THINK TWICE ABOUT IT

J.H.: (sits in chair)

TAPE: TERRY ALLEN'S SONG: "THERE'S A LONELY NEON FLASHING,.... IT’S FOUR O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING, AND I FEEL LIKE I'M IN PRISON.... THERE AINT NO GOD AT ALL, JUST SOME JUKE BOX DOWN THE HALL, PLAYING THE BLUES AND TRYING TO LAY ME LOW..... LA, LA, LA DESPIDIDA" (fades slowly)

J.H.: (pretends to read from a newspaper)
I READ THIS STORY IN THE NEWSPAPER AND SAVED IT.

THEY HAD A FIGHT.... A BIG ONE... SHE RAN AND HID DOWN THE BLOCK UNDER A NEIGHBOR'S BUSH AND GUZZLED DOWN HALF A FIFTH OF GIN ... AND SHE WASNT A BIG DRINKER UNDER NORMAL CONDITIONS. THE NEXT DAY HE GOT ON A GREYHOUND BUS HEADED FOR DALLAS VIA JUAREZ... THEY HAD A DRAMATIC PASSIONATE PARTING ... KISSES ON MORE THAN ONE OCCASION AT THE BUS STATION. THEY WEREN’T SURE WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN. SHE KISSED HIM GOODBYE AND NOTICED FROM THE CORNER OF HER EYE A YOUNG INDIAN MAN WHO WAS TAKING IT ALL IN. HER HUSBAND BOARDED THE BUS AND SAT NEXT TO A NUN. SHE WENT OUT TO THE CAR AND WROTE A SAD LOVE SONG.

SHE LOOKED UP AND THERE HE WAS AGAIN. THE SAME INDIAN MAN, STANDING OUT ON THE SIDEWALK WATCHING HER .... SHE KNEW THAT HE KNEW WHAT WAS GOING ON.

SONG: J.H.SINGS—JO HARVEY ALLEN SONG "FATE SWEET FATE,I BEG ON BENDED KNEE, WORK YOUR MAGIC, FADE AWAY HIS HURT, AND BRING HIM SAFELY HOME TO ME.-

J.H.: (continues to read newspaper)
TWO WEEKS LATER SHE DECIDED TO GO GET HIM. SHE TOOK THE KIDS WITH HER AND HEADED FOR DALLAS. SOMEWHERE IN THE ARIZONA DESERT, SHE PASSED A HITCHHIKER. HE WAS OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE. SHE SLOWED DOWN AS SHE PASSED HIM - THE SAME INDIAN. OF COURSE, SHE RECOGNIZED HIM, BUT SHE DIDN’T DARE PICK HIM UP, AND HE WAS HANDSOME. THE NEXT DAY AT A SMALL TOWN IN NEW MEXICO, SHE AND THE KIDS WERE SITTING OUTSIDE AT A MCDONALD'S RIGHT OFF THE MAIN HIGHWAY. THEIR EYES LOCKED, AS HE SLOWLY WALKED PAST.

TAPE: BUKKA ALLEN'S SONG: 'THERE'S A MILLION MILES OF HIGHWAY, STRETCHED ACROSS HIS FACE, WITH A MILLION MORE TO CONQUER, AND A MILLION MORE TRACE. EVERY LINE OF SORROW IS A SIGN FROM THE WINDS OF FATE, AND EVERY CRACK OF BEAUTY IS A MAP TO A MAGIC PLACE".

TAPE: THUNDER AND LOUD RAIN

J.H.: (continues to read newspaper over the loud storm)
IT WAS THE WORST STORM SHE HAD EVER SEEN. (LOUD CLAP OF THUNDER) THE LIGHTNING STRUCK ALL AROUND. THE KIDS LAY IN THE FLOORBOARD SCREAMING. THEY WERE ALL SCARED. SHE LOST HER MIND. A GREYHOUND BUS APPEARED IN FRONT OF HER AND SHE FOLLOWED IT OFF THE MAIN HIGHWAY AND ONTO ANOTHER ROAD AND INTO YET ANOTHER SMALL UNKNOWN TOWN. SHE TOLD THE KIDS THAT SHE WAS LOST AND AFRAID THAT SHE MAY HAVE TAKEN THE WRONG ROAD. THE YOUNGEST BOY SAID, 'MOM, DID YOU SEE A SIGN THAT SAID, STOP, WRONG WAY, TURN AROUND?

RADIO: SHE HAD NOT SEEN ANY SUCH SIGN.

TERRY ALLEN'S SONG - "LEAVIN'L.A. ON A CLOUDY DAY, PUSHIN'THE CLOUDS AWAY, WE'RE GONNA GET AWAY. AND WE TURN ON THE RADIO AND LET THE WIND BLOW WITH THE ROCK AND ROLL ALL THE WAY. LIGHTEN' MAKES CRACKS IN YOUR AIR, CLOSING THE CRACKS AND CLOSING THE TEAR, BUT WE'RE GONNA GET AWAY ... WE'RE GOING HOME,.... TO PARADISE" (there may be a repeat on the word "paradise" ... listen to the cd and see)

J.H.: (front stage)
I THINK DEEP DOWN SHE KNEW SHE WAS ON THE RIGHT ROAD... AND BESIDES THAT, YOU KNOW HOW THINGS CAN TURN ON A DIME.

THAT STORY REMINDS ME OF THIS WONDERFUL TRIP I WILL NEVER FORGET. ME AND THE KIDS WERE DRIVING TO TEXAS FROM CALIFORNIA. WE WERE ON OUR WAY TO MEET THEIR DADDY .. HE'D BEEN OUT THERE WORKING AND WE WERE ALL ANXIOUS TO SEE EACH OTHER. ANYWAY, NOBODY WILL BELIEVE THIS, BUT I SWEAR TO GOD IT IS TRUE. SOMEWHERE IN THE ARIZONA DESERT OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE, WE DROVE INTO THE END THE RAINBOW... RIGHT WHERE THE POT OF GOLD IS SUPPOSED TO BE. SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT IT'S IMPOSSIBLE, BUT WE DID IT. WE STOPPED OUR CAR AND GOT OUT. A TRUCKER HAD ALSO PULLED OVER AND GOTTEN OUT OF HIS RIG.

THE BEAUTIFUL COLORS REFLECTED ALL OVER US ... ON OUR CLOTHES AND ON OUR SKIN.

TAPE: INSTRUMENTAL THAT GOES INTO TERRY ALLEN'S LYRICS: "LET YOUR HEART ROLL OUT, LET IT RAMBLE ABOUT, WITH THE ONES THAT YOU LOVE FOR SURE."

J.H.: (continues over instrumental)
WE HELD HANDS, AND I TOLD THE KIDS WE SHOULD SAY OUR PRAYERS AND WE DID BECAUSE WE KNEW WE WERE IN A MAGIC PLACE.

J.H.: (sings lyrics out loud with song on tape)

J.H.: (continues with POEM: 'TO THE STREET OF THE LAND OF FIRE".)
TO "THE STREET OF THE LAND OF FIRE"
IN THE GATHERING THUNDER OF IMMEDICABLE SORROW"
ON YOUR CORNER FOR HIRE
EMBRACING THE ENEMIES OF GOD
WALLOWING IN THE SWEET LINGERING SMELLS OF FOUR
O'CLOCK LOVE OF EVIL
LOVE

J.H.: (sits in chair as tape plays)

TAPE: JOHNNY RENO'S SAX INSTRUMENTAL OF "YOU ALWAYS HURT THE ONES YOU LOVE, THE ONES YOU LOVE THE MOST OF ALL. YOU ALWAYS TAKE THE KINDEST HEART AND CRUSH IT TIL THE PEDALS FALL".

J.H. (sits in chair)
PARADOX IS A FUNNY THING. BUKKA OUR OLDEST SON WAS A LITTLE BOY SITTING ON THE COMMODE WHEN HE ASKED ME WHAT PARADOX MEANT. IT MEANS, IF YOUR SOCCER COACH SAYS, ‘NIGGER’ ONE MORE TIME, I'M GONNA GET HIS ASS FIRED ... AND YOUR GRANDPA SAYS IT EVERYDAY AND WE STILL LOVE HIM.

COURSE, I'M USED TO OPPOSITES. I KNOW ABOUT PARADOX, CAUSE I WAS RAISED IN LUBBOCK... LUBBOCK IS LIKE INDIA..LUBBOCK IS EXTREME. LUBBOCK IS CONTRADICTION. EVERYONE FROM LUBBOCK KNOWS THAT THERE'S FANTASTIC TIMES AND HORRIBLE TIMES, REAL GOOD AND REAL EVIL, TOTAL RIGHT AND TOTAL WRONG AND NOT MUCH ELSE IN BETWEEN WORTH MENTIONING. BUT I GUARANTEE EVERYTHING IN LUBBOCK HAD IT’S OPPOSITE IN SPADES!

TAKE MY GRANDMOTHERS WHO LIVED EXACTLY CATTY-CORNERED FROM EACH OTHER. ONE LIVED IN THE BIG HOUSE AND WAS SKINNY. THE OTHER ONE LIVED IN A SHACK AND WAS FAT. THE SKINNY ONE WAS SO CLEAN YOU COULD EAT OFF HER BATHROOM FLOOR ... THE FAT ONE WAS SO FILTHY MY MOTHER TOLD ME NOT TO EVEN EAT AT HER TABLE. I, OF COURSE, LOVED THEM BOTH .... THE SKINNY ONE WAS SO POOR BUT SHE LOOKED RICH. SHE FORBID ME TO LISTEN TO COUNTRY MUSIC, IT REMINDED HER OF HER ROOTS.

ONE TIME I WATCHED KOONTZIE, THE FAT ONE, WRING A CHICKEN'S NECK, THROW IT INTO THE KITCHEN SINK TO PLUCK IT'S FEATHERS OUT AND MASH COCKROACHES AROUND THE RIM OF THE SINK WITH THE SAME BLOODY HAND .... SHE DIDN'T SEEM TO HAVE A PROBLEM WITH COUNTRY MUSIC.

J.H.: (standing front stage POEM: "KOONTZIE")
SHE WAS FAT
AND LIVED IN A TWO ROOM MORNING-GLORY SHACK
IN THE BACK OF PIGGLY WIGGLY'S GROCERY
AT TEN O'CLOCK WE'D WALK DOWN THE ALLEY
SINGING PEACE IN THE VALLEY
PICKING THROUGH ALL THE ROTTEN FOOD
WE'D COME HOME WITH A CRATE FULL
TO CELEBRATE EVERYTHING
SHE'D HOLD UP HER SKIRT WITH ONE HAND
AND HOLD MY HAND WITH THE OTHER
BAREFOOTED WE DANCED
ON THE COCKROACH FLOOR
TO "BUTTONS AND BOWS"AND "DETOUR"
WHILE EIGHT DOLLS WITH CHINA HEADS
WATCHED FROM HER BED
LYE SOAP BUBBLED ON HER STOVE
YELLOW TOMATOES LINED HER WINDOWS
SHE TOOK IN WASHING AND IRONING
AND EVERYBODY THOUGHT SHE WAS POOR
BUT SHE HAD A DOG NAMED MITZIE
AT LEAST TWENTY CHICKENS
A RUBY COMB
HUNDREDS OF STORIES ABOUT THE DUST BOWL
A STACK OF COUNTRY RECORDS
AND A STOLE OF RED FOX HEADS AND TAILS
THAT SHE CLAIMED TO HAVE FOUND IN THE ROAD
IN THE EVENINGS
SHE SAT IN A ROCKER
WITH A BIBLE ON HER LAP
AND HER FEET IN A BUCKET
WHILE I PLATTED HER LONG GRAY HAIR
SHE'D TELL ME HOW BEAUTIFUL SHE USED TO BE
DANCING EVERY SINGLE DANCE UNDER THE TEXAS MOON
UNTIL DAWN
WHEN MY GRANDFATHER, THE GAMBLER
WOULD TAKE HER HOME
SHE GAVE ME MY FIRST NYLON PANTIES
DIFFERENT COLORS, EVEN A BLACK PAIR
WITH THE DAYS OF THE WEEK EMBROIDERED ON EACH ONE
THEN IN HER FINAL DAYS
WHEN KOONTZ THE BAPTIST
WAS SURROUNDED BY NUNS
AND THOUGHT THE LIGHT FIXTURE WAS A FRUIT CAKE
I HELD HER HAND

J. H. (continues)
SHE DIED ON MY BIRTHDAY WHEN I WAS JUST A LITTLE GIRL.

TAPE: LLOYD'S GUITAR INSTRUMENTAL OF "PEACE IN THE VALLEY"

J.H.: (over the instrumental)
WHEN BOTH OUR SONS, BUKKA AND BALE, WERE BORN .... THE FIRST NIGHT HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL .... THERE WAS THE VERY NEXT MOURNING, A RUSTY OLD HAIRPIN ON THE FLOOR BESIDE THEIR CRIB. SHE WAS THE ONLY PERSON I EVER KNEW WHO WORE THOSE OLD-FASHIONED KIND OF HAIRPINS... AND YOU KNOW HOW CLEAN THE HOUSE IS BEFORE YOU BRING A NEW BABY HOME ... ALL THE FLOORS HAD BEEN WAXED ... YEAH SHE WAS THERE, AN ANGEL, TO LOOK AT OUR NEW BABIES.

TAPE: LOUD BARKING DOGS

J.H.: (loud over barking dogs)
ON MY NEXT BIRTHDAY, MY DOG DIED. I WAS AT THE BIG HOUSE OUT BETWEEN THE GARAGE AND THE FENCE IN A SPACE THIS BIG, CRYING... WONDERING WHY PUDDLES WAS DEAD AND THE VICIOUS CHOWS ACROSS THE FENCE WERE ALIVE?

WHY DID MAMA LOUDER AND DADDY JESSE EVER LEAVE THAT BIG HOUSE I STILL DREAM ABOUT, WHERE I KISSED EVERY SINGLE ROOM GOODBYE? WHY DID THEY MOVE TO THAT HORRIBLE PLACE WITH GRAVEL AND NO FOUR O'CLOCKS OR FLOWERS AT ALL, ONLY CEMENT CASKET MOLDS OUT IN THE FRONT YARD, AND WHY DID THEY MOVE AGAIN TO THAT TINY RENT HOUSE THAT LOOKED EXACTLY LIKE ALL THE OTHER HOUSES ON THE BLOCK? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY DO PEOPLE DIE?

RADIO: "108 BY NOON EXPECTED TO GET HOTTER" (LLOYD MAINE'S VOICE)

J.H.: (continues with POEM: '108 BY NOON")
TYPICAL FOR AUGUST IN THE SAN JOAQUIN VALLEY
I TIED ON MY PALM TREE PRINTED HOUSE DRESS
AND WENT OUT TO BUY A DOLLAR'S WORTH OF GAS
ON THE WAY I SAW A WOMAN
SWEEPING DIRT OFF HER CURB
AND DOWN THE GUTTER
I CIRCLED THE BLOCK TO LOOK CLOSER
SHE BENT OVER PICKING OUT STRAY LEADS OF GRASS
HER HOUSE RESEMBLING THE OTHERS
SMALL, IMMACULATE, WITH A FEW ROSE BUSHES OUT FRONT
SHE FROWNED AT ME AS I PASSED
I THOUGHT OF MAMMA LOUDER
EVERY SATURDAY AIRING THE MATTRESSES
ON THE PORCH OF A FOUR ROOM RENT HOUSE
FILLED WITH CHIPPENDALE FURNITURE
SHE'D NEVER GET PAID OFF
UP AT SIX TO SCRUB AND WAX AND REARRANGE,
UNTIL SIX WHEN DADDY JESSE CAME IN TO EAT
THEN GO DIRECTLY TO HIS ROOM
TO PLAY SOLITAIRE, READ STAG, AND TRUE WEST
MAGAZINE
A MONTH AFTER SHE DIED
THAT HOUSE LOOKED RUN DOWN
HE CALLED HER THE OLD MEAN MAW
AND WITH A ROSE IN HIS LAPEL
DIED A YEAR LATER
TIRED OF GRIEVING FOR HER
WAVES OF HEAT FILLED MY CAMARO
MY LEGS STUCK TO THE RED NAUGAHYDE
I ASKED THE ATTENDANT TO FILL IT UP
DROVE STRAIGHT TO THE GATEWAY OF THE SIERRAS
GOT A COKE AT THE NEW CHINA CAFE
THEN TURNED AROUND AND CAME ON HOME

RADIO: BASEBALL GAME

J.H.: (sits in chair at home plate)
WHEN I WAS A YOUNG GIRL, I USED TO PLAY BALL DOWN AT BARBARA CHANCEY’S. ELVIS SIGNED HER TITTY AND SHE NEVER WASHED ONE WHOLE SUMMER .... I CAN'T REMEMBER IF I ACTUALLY SAW IT OR IF IT JUST LOOMED SO LARGE IN MY IMAGINATION THAT I THOUGHT I DID. ELVIS WAS A TRUCK DRIVER AT THE TIME OF THE SIGNING BUT EVIDENTLY, EVEN THEN, HE HAD A LOT OF CHARISMA. SHE TOLD ME SO MANY NASTY THINGS THAT I'D HAVE TO COME HOME AND GET DOWN ON MY KNEES ON THE KITCHEN FLOOR AND ASK GOD TO HELP ME KEEP ALL THAT INFORMATION A SECRET FROM MY FOLKS.

J.H.: (stands)
BESIDES PLAYING BALL, I SPENT A GOOD PART OF THAT SUMMER BEING BURIED ALIVE. WE DUG A HOLE DEEP ENOUGH FOR ONE PERSON TO GET IN WHILE ALL THE OTHER KIDS ON THE BLOCK STOOD ON TOP OF ALL THE OLD BOARDS THAT COVERED IT. THE DEAL WAS, TO SEE WHO COULD BE BURIED ALIVE THE LONGEST. I DON'T KNOW WHY I WAS ALWAYS SO DETERMINED TO WIN. THAT SUMMER WE STAGED LOTS OF TRAGIC DEATHS AND ELABORATE FUNERALS. OF COURSE, BEING FROM LUBBOCK, THEY WERE ALWAYS ACCOMPANIED BY GOOD MUSIC.

I CUT UP A BABY DOLL AND BURIED IT ACROSS THE STREET FROM OUR HOUSE WHERE INCIDENTALLY, THEY WERE BUILDING A TOMBSTONE SALES OFFICE. DEATH WAS BIG IN LUBBOCK. I STUCK ONE LITTLE LEG OUT FROM THE FOUNDATION, COVERED IT WITH KETCHUP AND WAITED TO SEE WHAT WOULD HAPPEN WHEN THE BODY WAS DISCOVERED.

TAPE: WIND AND TRAIN (WE MAY OR MAY NOT USE IT -- IF SO THE ORDER ON CD WOULD BE OUT OF SEQUENCE.)

EVERY AFTERNOON WE PILED MORE AND MORE JUNK ON THE TRAIN TRACKS, TRYING TO DERAIL IT. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? WE NEVER COULD WRECK THAT DAMN TRAIN.

WE HAD TO GET ON TOP OF THE GARAGE TO GET ON OUR STILTS. WE'D WORK ON OUR SOAP BOX DERBIES AND LATE AFTERNOONS. WE WOULD CHASE THE DDT TRUCKS DOWN THE ALLEYS UNTIL WE KEELED OVER FROM THE POISON OR ELSE WENT TEMPORARILY BLIND AND RAN INTO GARBAGE CANS. AT NIGHT, ALL THE NEIGHBORS AND KIDS WOULD SIT OUT ON PALLETS OUT UNDER THE STARS AND WATCH FOR FLYING SAUCERS. WE WERE ALL SO SCARED. LUBBOCK HAD HAD THE MOST DOCUMENTED SIGHTINGS KNOW TO MANKIND AT THAT TIME. THERE JUST HAPPENED TO BE A CONVENTION OF SCIENTISTS OUT BARBECUING IN SOMEBODY'S BACKYARD WHEN THE FIRST FORMATION FLEW OVER. OF COURSE, THEY ALL HAD BROWNIE HAWK EYES AROUND THEIR NECKS AND TOOK LOTS OF IMPRESSIVE PHOTOS. WE WERE SCARED BUT THE STORY I LOVED TO HEAR ABOUT THE MOST THOUGH, WAS THE BLEEDING WALL IN TAOS. I JUST LOVED THAT. FUNNY THING ABOUT FEAR. AND WE WERE ALL SO SCARED OF ZENDA BUCK. WE HAD A HOSPITAL SET UP SO WE COULD EXAMINE EACH OTHER'S PARTS AND MAKE EACH OTHER EAT ALL THE WEIRD MEDICINE WE'D CONCOCT. ZENDA WAS THE HEAD NURSE AND IF WE DIDN'T DO WHAT SHE TOLD US, SHE WOULD KILL US WITH HER REAL HYPODERMIC NEEDLE ... YOU KNOW, WE WOULD GET AN AIR BUBBLE AND DIE. LIVING WITH THE CONSTANT FEAR OF DEATH WAS HARD, AND THEN I WENT TO MY FIRST REAL FUNERAL. DONNY BUMPAS'S LITTLE BROTHER WHO WAS SIX YEARS OLD GOT HIT IN THE HEAD WITH A BASEBALL AND DIED. RIGHT AFTER THAT BARBARA CHANCY HIT A HARD LINE DRIVE AND HIT ME RIGHT ON THE FOREHEAD. I GOT SO SCARED I LOST MY COURAGE AND I COULD NEVER PLAY BALL AGAIN.

TAPE: LOUD CRACK OF BAT

END OF ACT I

© Jo Harvey Allen, 1996

Continue to Act II